Jamrotbud is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, effective aardvark.

Jamrotbud created tapeworms nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamrotbud, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jamrotbud, it will jump up and down on your head.

Jamrotbud's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Jamrotbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Erect five silicon sculptures of Jamrotbud on top of important buildings.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.