Kapparkwit is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, passionate wasp.

Kapparkwit created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapparkwit, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kapparkwit, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Kapparkwit's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kapparkwit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange tortoises for they are unholy.

2. Kapparkwit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Run away from brown monkeys, for they are unholy.