Flatmilhap is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, annoying hydra.

Flatmilhap created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatmilhap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flatmilhap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Flatmilhap's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Flatmilhap's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must never eat apples.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about cell theory.