Rulkarjip is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, slow human.

Rulkarjip created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rulkarjip, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rulkarjip, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Rulkarjip's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Rulkarjip's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven sheep approach from the west.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Do not chop down trees.