Lakwotzim is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, amazing zebra.

Lakwotzim created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakwotzim, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lakwotzim, he will cry a lot.

Lakwotzim's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Lakwotzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. You must pray to Lakwotzim three times a day.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always help frogs in need.

5. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.