Yattbestyattxin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, competent dingo.

Yattbestyattxin created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattbestyattxin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yattbestyattxin, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yattbestyattxin's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Yattbestyattxin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yattbestyattxin.

2. Do not speak about corn.

3. Always treat moths with great respect.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Never pour water over plants.