Cumquagsog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sapient snail.

Cumquagsog created the Andromeda Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumquagsog, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cumquagsog, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cumquagsog's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Cumquagsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Run away from gray aardvarks, for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the north.

5. Hide if nine badgers approach from the south.