Safartwip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, cheerful naga.

Safartwip created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safartwip, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Safartwip, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Safartwip's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Safartwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Safartwip on top of all buildings.

5. You must love Safartwip.