Dotmigrap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, thoughtless monkey.

Dotmigrap created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Dotmigrap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dotmigrap, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dotmigrap's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Dotmigrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Horses are not to be trusted.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.