Banyatteen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty tapir.

Banyatteen created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Banyatteen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Banyatteen, he will ignore you.

Banyatteen's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Banyatteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Banyatteen loves doves, so they must be respected.