Mitfebtif is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, witless armadillo.

Mitfebtif created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitfebtif, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mitfebtif, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mitfebtif's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Mitfebtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck magenta.

2. Do not take Mitfebtif's name in vain.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Retreat if four hamsters approach from the south.

5. Never pour water over plants.