Lunbaptab is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, idiotic whale.

Lunbaptab created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunbaptab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lunbaptab, he will throw large rocks at you.

Lunbaptab's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Lunbaptab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Retreat if four ducks approach from the east.

4. You must love Lunbaptab.

5. Never write about galaxies.