Pitladquim is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless eagle.

Pitladquim created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitladquim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pitladquim, it will laugh at you.

Pitladquim's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Pitladquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray shoes.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Hide if six aardvarks approach from the west.

4. You must love Pitladquim.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.