Nuttartvab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unjust goblin.

Nuttartvab created Asia four years ago.

If you believe in Nuttartvab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nuttartvab, he will turn you into a slug.

Nuttartvab's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nuttartvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Nuttartvab's name in vain.

2. Hide from red whales for they are unholy.

3. Never think ill of sick snails.

4. Never paint your head turquoise.

5. You must never eat cucumbers.