Xucruttettikomarflak is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, self-confident slug.

Xucruttettikomarflak created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucruttettikomarflak, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucruttettikomarflak, it will remove you from existence.

Xucruttettikomarflak's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Xucruttettikomarflak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Do not kill horses.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.