Yimquaglik is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, prudent owl.

Yimquaglik created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimquaglik, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yimquaglik, she will turn you into a hamster.

Yimquaglik's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Yimquaglik's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

5. Never play with disobedient children.