Yakpasbassarphin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, boastful tapir.

Yakpasbassarphin created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Yakpasbassarphin, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yakpasbassarphin, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yakpasbassarphin's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yakpasbassarphin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Do not hurt birds.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.