Lunfutvilbet is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, annoying weasel.

Lunfutvilbet created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunfutvilbet, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lunfutvilbet, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Lunfutvilbet's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Lunfutvilbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Never wear trousers.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.