Rigquamveen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid manatee.

Rigquamveen created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Rigquamveen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rigquamveen, she will manifest in front of you.

Rigquamveen's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Rigquamveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.