Mitkandub is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, annoying slug.

Mitkandub created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitkandub, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mitkandub, it will turn you into a hamster.

Mitkandub's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Mitkandub's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of swans.

2. Never feed bread to eagles while wearing blue trousers.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Put Mitkandub first in all things.