Rakmitved is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, moody gorilla.

Rakmitved created a charm quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rakmitved, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rakmitved, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Rakmitved's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Rakmitved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. You must pray to Rakmitved three times a day.