Larpmablam Sitbonkpog is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, sapient hamster.

Larpmablam Sitbonkpog created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpmablam Sitbonkpog, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Larpmablam Sitbonkpog, it will be very sad.

Larpmablam Sitbonkpog's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Larpmablam Sitbonkpog's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always help whales.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.