Hogjarnzan is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonourable dolphin.

Hogjarnzan created the Whirlpool Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogjarnzan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hogjarnzan, she will torture you forever.

Hogjarnzan's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Hogjarnzan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hogjarnzan first in all things.

2. Never wear pink kilts.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Always obey Hogjarnzan's priests.

5. Always take life seriously.