Kopjincar is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, selfish jellyfish.

Kopjincar created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopjincar, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kopjincar, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kopjincar's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Kopjincar's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kopjincar.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.