Stragquatwad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous armadillo.

Stragquatwad created the Virgo Supercluster seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragquatwad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stragquatwad, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Stragquatwad's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Stragquatwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not cook food in pots.