Fig is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unselfish gnu.

Fig created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fig, he will turn you into a mouse.

Fig's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Fig on top of all buildings.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always pray immersed in water.