Lantabtagdin is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, weak gnu.

Lantabtagdin created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lantabtagdin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lantabtagdin, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Lantabtagdin's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Lantabtagdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Lantabtagdin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not trade with those who eat apples.