Tailbenbam is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering tapir.

Tailbenbam created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailbenbam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tailbenbam, she will turn you into a rock.

Tailbenbam's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tailbenbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.