Kopcibbig is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, emotional cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kopcibbig created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopcibbig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kopcibbig, she will jump up and down on your head.

Kopcibbig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Kopcibbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about geese.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never wear orange trousers.

4. Do not kill hamsters.

5. Do not cook food in pots.