Kopfumvab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying fairy.

Kopfumvab created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopfumvab, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kopfumvab, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kopfumvab's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Kopfumvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.