Bastsafmif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous duck.

Bastsafmif created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastsafmif, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bastsafmif, he will curse you with boils.

Bastsafmif's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bastsafmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snakes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Bastsafmif loves whales, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.