Flyvolquag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, stupid bird.

Flyvolquag created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flyvolquag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flyvolquag, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Flyvolquag's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Flyvolquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never mention gulls.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.