Bogjig is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, amazing squid.

Bogjig created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogjig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bogjig, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bogjig's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bogjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bogjig.

4. Bogjig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always treat seals with great respect.