Jampaddidvilwansas is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered fly.

Jampaddidvilwansas created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jampaddidvilwansas, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jampaddidvilwansas, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jampaddidvilwansas' most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Jampaddidvilwansas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.