Teenbopbus is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, vain lobster.

Teenbopbus created silver two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenbopbus, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Teenbopbus, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Teenbopbus' most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Teenbopbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away from black tortoises, for they are unholy.