Zogtinquaf Mindotbum Nuttsandbed is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, merciless guinea pig.

Zogtinquaf Mindotbum Nuttsandbed created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogtinquaf Mindotbum Nuttsandbed, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zogtinquaf Mindotbum Nuttsandbed, he will destroy your home solar system.

Zogtinquaf Mindotbum Nuttsandbed's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Zogtinquaf Mindotbum Nuttsandbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick horses.

2. Hide if eight snakes approach from the north.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.