Flamomthas is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, astonishing bird.

Flamomthas created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamomthas, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flamomthas, she will turn you into a snail.

Flamomthas' most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Flamomthas' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Flamomthas loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Do not covet oxen.