Satlinjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, generous tortoise.

Satlinjarn created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satlinjarn, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Satlinjarn, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Satlinjarn's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Satlinjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not eat beans.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.