Veenhangut is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, happy cobra.

Veenhangut created an electron seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenhangut, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Veenhangut, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Veenhangut's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Veenhangut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not kill seals.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Veenhangut.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.