Cimhubbed is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, stupid pig.

Cimhubbed created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimhubbed, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cimhubbed, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Cimhubbed's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Cimhubbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cimhubbed.

4. Cimhubbed loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.