Gutquafnib is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish wombat.

Gutquafnib created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutquafnib, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gutquafnib, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gutquafnib's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gutquafnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Fast once a month.