Tikbutciss is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying pigeon.

Tikbutciss created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikbutciss, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tikbutciss, it will turn you into a mole.

Tikbutciss' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tikbutciss' Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help rats.

3. Hide from fawn birds for they are unholy.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never pour water over plants.