Mobdanbag is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, dishonourable cow.

Mobdanbag created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobdanbag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mobdanbag, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Mobdanbag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Mobdanbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back brown.

2. Hide if seven seals approach from the north.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Run away from turquoise snakes, for they are unholy.

5. Erect four silver sculptures of Mobdanbag on top of important buildings.