Wankapflan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish seal.

Wankapflan created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wankapflan, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wankapflan, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Wankapflan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Wankapflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. You must love Wankapflan.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Never talk about fire.