Vidzigarn is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, staggering mouse.

Vidzigarn created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidzigarn, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vidzigarn, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Vidzigarn's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Vidzigarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not chop down trees.