Tapbastteen is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, awesome gerbil.

Tapbastteen created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapbastteen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tapbastteen, she will ignore you.

Tapbastteen's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Tapbastteen's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tapbastteen three times a day.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not hurt badgers.

4. Never skip near shrews.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.