Rut is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, generous aardvark.

Rut created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rut, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rut, she will turn you into a hamster.

Rut's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Rut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Rut must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Hide if five shrews approach from the west.

5. Do not kill rats.