Pakgamkik is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, tiresome goat.

Pakgamkik created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakgamkik, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pakgamkik, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pakgamkik's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Pakgamkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Never pour water over plants.