Zodtargupfobdabwot is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, proud tortoise.

Zodtargupfobdabwot created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodtargupfobdabwot, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zodtargupfobdabwot, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zodtargupfobdabwot's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Zodtargupfobdabwot's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always help aardvarks in need.