Xenhoghog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable narwhal.

Xenhoghog created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenhoghog, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xenhoghog, it will remove you from existence.

Xenhoghog's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Xenhoghog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always obey Xenhoghog's priests.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must love Xenhoghog.